A Different Take on the Red Sox World Series Win

Fuck Boston

Last night, for the first time in 95 years, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series at home in Fenway Park. Fuck the city of Boston, in general.

Boston is not a good city.

Fuck the Boston Red Sox. Fuck your dirty beards. Fuck your scrappy-band-of-sailors persona. Fuck your iconic little ballpark. Fuck the big green wall in your outfield. Fuck the people wearing Red Sox hats, particularly pink ones. Fuck your undeserved underdog attitude. Fuck your celebrity fans. Fuck your regular fans. Fuck your riotous celebrations.

Fuck all of New England. But in particular, Boston.

Fuck your reputation as a center of learning. Fuck your colleges and universities. Fuck your swarms of students. Fuck the hyper-intellectuals, the frat boys, and everyone in between. Fuck MIT. You could have gone to Caltech, where it's sunny. You fools. Fuck Harvard. Fuck your cozy book stores. Fuck Cambridge. Fuck the bridge you have to cross to get there. Fuck rowing in the Charles. Fuck that as a pastime. Get a better pastime, jerks.

Fuck Boston (the band).

Fuck your regional food specialties. Fuck your tendency to claim all of Irish immigrant culture as your own. Fuck movies set in your small regional city. Fuck your accent. Fuck the Puritans. Fuck Samuel Adams. Fuck Paul Revere. Fuck the entirety of your celebrated colonial history.

That was a long time ago. Get over it.

Fuck the Big Dig. Dig it, already. I'm so sick of hearing about your stupid hole. Fuck your talk radio stations. Fuck Tom Brady. Fuck your bleak and desolate winters. Fuck the poor bastards in all of the surrounding states who are forced to rely on you as the only real urban center in close proximity. I feel for them. Fuck your museums. Fuck your bus station. Fuck your aquarium. I can't believe you imprison fish in such an awful town. Fuck your floating "Duck Tour" vehicles. What's wrong with driving on the road? Why do you have to drive in the water? Why are you always making things complicated?

Fuck Cheers.

I have some dear, dear friends from Boston. Great people. I love them. I would not want them to read this and get the wrong idea. It's important to me that I take a moment to make this point to them: Fuck Boston.

It's too cold there. Who needs it?

Boston people get mad when you say these things. If I said this in Boston, I would probably get my head beat in. Fuck your violent tendencies. That's mean. I'm a person too. Fuck your denial of my humanity. Other people in Boston try to over-intellectualize it. "You're not even giving any real reasons," they whine. "You're just saying 'fuck' things. You don't even make sense." Jesus, the whining. Always the whining and arguing, from Boston people. Can we have one conversation that doesn't have to be all about you? Fuck your self-centered inability to admit that your enemies are correct. Try seeing it from the perspective of the rest of the world, for once. Put yourself in our shoes. Now think about Boston. Come on. Seriously. Come on. Really. Come on. Boston. Really now. Boston?

Come on. Boston?

No.

CREDIT:  Gawker.com

Question Asked/Answered

QUESTION:  Do you want to go to Bertucci's with me to pick up the pizza?

VISUAL:

ANSWER:  No, that's okay, why don't you go alone.  I'll stay here.

Busta Move!

Comfy Compfy

I HEART FAIRLEE!

Posted october 19th, 2013 Burlington Free Press State Troopers responded to Champlain Farms located at 51 Lake Morey Road for a report of an attempted robbery in Fairlee Friday night. Champlain Farms staff said an individual entered the store and demanded all of the cash. The demand was refused, and the suspect threatened violence and abruptly left the store on foot. The suspect had dark colored eyes which were bloodshot, and is described as a slender male, approximately 5'4" - 5'5" in height, weighing approximately 130 pounds, wearing a Halloween clown mask that covered his entire face, a red sweatshirt, jeans and sneaker-type shoes. No weapon was displayed, but the suspect kept one hand inside of his sweatshirt motioning it in a threatening manner. Any anyone with information please call Trooper Jollymore at the Vermont State Police Bradford Barracks at 222-4680.

Interesting items in the news

Men give up trying to look good at 46, study says

Women put in effort until at least age 59

LONDON —Men completely give up on their physical appearance by the time they are 46, while women care about their looks for 13 years longer, according to a new British study.

Researchers polled 2,000 people and found that after age 46, men do not put in the effort to stay fit and keep up with the trends, and women focused on their appearance and general fitness until at least age 59.

The study, carried out by Benenden Health, found one in four respondents said staying healthy and looking good cost too much money, Metro.co.uk reported.

One-third of those polled blamed a lack of happiness in contributing to low levels of confidence in the way they look.

Many married men polled said they stopped caring 26 months after the wedding. 

ANNIE GET YOUR GUN:  THAT explains a lot.

 

 

Brooklyn restaurant bans conversation

Patrons pay $40 for a four-course meal served in silence

Eating a meal in silence isn't usually a good thing.

But a restaurant in Brooklyn not only encourages it, it's required.  Conservation was banned Sunday in the first "silent dinner" hosted by Eat, a bistro that serves local, organic fare in Brooklyn's Greenpoint neighborhood.

Seventeen diners paid $40 for a four-course meal at the eatery.

The only rule? No talking.

"This was an idea that had been brewing for a long time," Eat manager Nick Nauman told Yahoo Shine. "In my early 20s, I visited a monastery that served a silent breakfast each morning. The purpose was to teach people to focus on the taste, texture, and nutritional value of the food. When you do so, the entire eating experience improves."

One patron said it felt like "being 50 and married."

"But then it became good, the good kind of quiet," 33-year-old Bianca Alvarez told the Wall Street Journal.

ANNIE GET YOUR GUN:  HA!  I bet I could get Tom to pay DOUBLE, easy!

(SIDE NOTE:  FOR SOME REASON WHEN I BLOG AT WORK MY ABILITY TO FORMAT, OR DO MOST ANYTHING IS LIMITED IF NOT EXISTENT, THUS THE STRANGE TYPE STYLES)

Annie Get Your Gun takes a moment

To appreciate the Moms that have made a difference in my life and the life of the folks I LOVE!

I am grateful that there was a dedicated Mom named Lynda who brought Jessica and Maeve into this world and my life!

In the Fall Claire and I used to visit old graveyards in VT and make off with the Hydrangeas.   We happily (and self-servingly) agreed that any nearby souls would smile to experience our joy :-)

OMG!!!

STILL??!!  I thought I took care of this this morning.  Where does it END?  I am SO regretting the misdeeds of my youth right now.  And when I say "youth", I mean like last week.

Uh oh. . . .

Alexander was kind enough to give me the heads up on this - I hope it's not to late to take down this mysterious potentially damaging post.  Luckily, Alexander has supplied me with a link that will allow me to remedy this!

Just Cuz

Just When. . .

you thought it couldn't get any better than spending Friday Night at Ocean State Job Lot:

Look at my cool toes amongst the flora and fauna

I read that light green is the "IT" color for nails this season (yes, I cling to the dream that I remain hip and relevant here in Holliston).  Sadly, this dark green was the only shade they had.  Can you FEEL the desperation?


As if the wrong color green didn't seal my fate - I then spent the afternoon in my house with all the windows closed due to the stifling heat and humidity (upstairs AC's running on full power with fans everywhere) while engaging the self-cleaning oven element on  both the top and bottom oven (due to the dangerously hight levels of chemicals and heat you can only do one at a time) 

It is advised that all birds be removed from the area as they are sensitive to the chemical heat.  Apparently the noxious fumes are a welcome treat for our canine friends.

How Many Years Has It Been??!!??

NINE!

Dinner out at a BRAND new restaurant in the burbs

Who do I love more - Tom or Winston Flowers??  I've loved Tom for 9+ years. . .
I've loved Winston for 20+ years. . . 

GOOD LUCK

These pics are terrible - but I work in a big-old mill building.  Portions of the building overlook a lake, part of the water system that used to power the mill.  The other afternoon, we noticed that someone in the building across from us was fishing....not uncommon....but HE was doing it from the 4th floor window.  At best, if he was lucky, he would catch some highly toxic carp.

3 to the left from the whited out window on the top floor, down 1

Hard to get a good pic

Suffice to say, it was a happy break from working with A-holes!

Work, Customers, A-holes, etc.

It's not too uncommon for me to have to work with a-holes like this guy on any given day.   The guy posts maybe 2 jobs a year and ALWAYS gets a discount that he is NEVER satisfied with.  Since I took over his account in January I have had one previous interaction with him in which he was also an a-hole; didn’t like the response he was getting to his job posting, I went out of my way to show this low spend customer the MANY ways he could improve his poorly written ad to improve his results but he wasn’t interested. 

On this recent interaction I kept my tongue until the end – and even then my response is DRIPPING with saccharin.  At the end of the day, I have to be professional, regardless of the fact that my coworkers were giddily hoping I would respond in the same manner I was relaying the communications to them :-)

Below is the email string.  I edited it such that you don't have to start at the bottom, just keep reading:

(names have been changed to protect the a-holes)

From: A-hole [mailto:ahole@lamecompany.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 1:16 PM
To: Farrar, Wendy
Subject: Monster Rep

Wendy,

can you direct me to my new monster.com rep.

Thanks

A-hole

From: Jackman, Ann [mailto:Ann.Jackman@monster.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 2:05 PM
To: ahole@lamecompany.com
Subject: [Spam 10.00] FW: Monster Rep

Hi A-hole

Wendy forwarded me your email, how can I help you?

Regards,

Ann

From: A-hole [mailto:ahole@lamecompany.com] 
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 2:16 PM
To: Jackman, Ann
Subject: RE: FW: Monster Rep

Ann,

Looking for a package of 2-3 listings and resume search.

What can you offer.

A-hole

From: Jackman, Ann [mailto:Ann.Jackman@monster.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 2:37 PM
To: A-hole
Subject: RE: FW: Monster Rep

In terms of the resume search, do you need 100 mile radius access or national access?

From: A-hole [mailto:ahole@lamecompany.com] 
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 2:43 PM
To: Jackman, Ann
Subject: RE: FW: Monster Rep

100 mile would suffice

From: Jackman, Ann
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 2:42 PM
To:A-hole
Subject: RE: FW: Monster Rep

Got it.  There are a number of promotions running right now – let me find the best price/value and get back to you asap.

From: A-hole [mailto:ahole@lamecompany.com] 
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 2:48 PM
To: Jackman, Ann
Subject: RE: FW: Monster Rep

Ann,

Do let me know, we’ve worked with Monster for many years now, never really receive ANY incentives.

Other firms, even ones like DICE play ball.

Do let me know what Monster.com can do to incentivize us to remain a client.

Thanks

A-hole

From: Jackman, Ann [mailto:Ann.Jackman@monster.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 2:51 PM
To: A-hole
Subject: RE: FW: Monster Rep

Here are a couple promotions that the sales team has that fit what you were looking for:

3 30-day job postings, 1 month 100-mile radius resume access = $1,375  LINK:  http://hiring.monster.com/order/promo.aspx?pid=NA1_11118US

2 30-day job postings, 2 weeks 100-mile radius resume access = $1,195  LINK:  http://hiring.monster.com/order/promo.aspx?pid=NA1_11119US

THEN, I looked online at our website to see what they were offering and they have these promotions running:

1 month 100-mile radius resume access = $499  LINK:  http://hiring.monster.com/order/OrderSummary.aspx

2 60-day job postings = $616  LINK:  http://hiring.monster.com/recruitment-solutions/EmployerHomepagepromotion.aspx

3 60-day job postings = $843  LINK:  http://hiring.monster.com/recruitment-solutions/EmployerHomepagepromotion.aspx

SO, it looks like the online promotion for the $499 resume and$ 616 2 60-day job postings is a better deal than the promotions on top.    Same goes for the 3 job posting package – not a huge difference in price, but it is a bit lower online and you get 60-day jobs vs. 30 day.

From: A-hole [mailto:ahole@lamecompany.com] 
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 3:13 PM
To: Jackman, Ann
Subject: RE: FW: Monster Rep

Hi Ann,

Then why do they have a sales force if the best stuff is online?

Thanks for pulling this all together.

Thanks,

A-hole

From: Jackman, Ann
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 3:20 PM
To: A-hole
Subject: RE: FW: Monster Rep

Hi A-hole,

The website is primarily designed to support smaller transactions; 1-2 job postings, the occasional short term resume access, etc.   I am always available to help any  customer find the best product/price to fit their needs, and to support them throughout the process.    And every now and then we DO have access to more attractive shorter term packages, so I always check.

Primarily however, Monster wants the sales force to focus on the larger solutions that may require a more sophisticated set of products and services with customizable pricing. 

I’m happy working with all of my customers, regardless of size and need.

Ann

RECAP:

my coworkers thought I should get a lot snippier, but I figured that would only backfire.  I don’t really give a shit if he doesn’t use Monster, it will just be a time-consuming and unpleasant experience with him not happy with the results anyway.  More work than it’s worth.

(but c'mon, you can't TELL me you don't love the "I’m happy working with all of my customers, REGARDLESS OF SIZE and need."  ha ha ha ha ha}

TOM's SUGGESTED ALTERNATE RESPONSE:

From: Thomas Norton [mailto:tnorton@healthtech.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 4:10 PM
To: Jackman, Ann
Subject: RE: FW: Monster Rep

A-hole,

As a middle manager at a small enterprise - if I might use that term - I'm sure you can appreciate the fact that any income generated by our continued partnership represents, for Monster, a net loss due to squandered resources. However, your continued role as an object of derision here in our offices serves a valued purpose beyond quantification.

Kind Regards

Awesome Maeve

Maeve painted this fantastic picture of camp while we were in VT for a week in July - it was a birthday gift to me.  She even used LAKE water to paint it.  We just got it back, framed of course, last week.

BUSTAMOVE!

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

Whatdoudo Friday night?  Huh?  Huh?  Whadyoudo?  

This is how I spend MY Friday night

Check one off the old bucket list!

"Mistakes Were Made"

that's it.

Tom commented on what a great phrase this is.  I agreed.  Wanted to share.

:-)

The Cat's FAVORITE Street

WARNING! BRAGGING ALERT! WARNING! BRAGGING ALERT

These first 2 bouquets were created from flowers straight from our garden :-)

This next one, is, admittedly store bought - but doesn't it LOOK like it came from a local garden>

And before you puke, unlike Martha Stewart, I'm not AFRAID to let you see some of the 'behind-the-scenes' reality of blogging.

You Tell Me!

What does this mean?  Noticed this sign while sitting at a red light on the main road leading to Bristol RI.  Made sure to stop and take a photo on the way back.

"WE DO NOT OWN PIGEONS"

Really?!  What are they saying"?

1) As a human race, we don't "OWN" pigeons.  No person has the "right" to take ownership of another of God's creatures.
2) If you are some kind of gangsta-thug and your thinking that there are pigeons in our crib that you might want to steal, keep movin'.
3) The pigeon problem in the Bristol RI area is not our fault.  If your house, car, hair, child, et al, is covered in pigeon shit, don't look at us.

Agree?
Disagree?
You MUST have a better idea. . . .

EXTREMELY Random Pics of our Summer Thus Far

REALLY?

I was walking around Pier One Imports looking for some decorative pillows when I came across this item - to say I was shocked would be an understatement.

Do people really have to go to a home decoration store to obtain wine corks?  And they PAY for them?  I see a lucrative new side business in my future.

And AFTER....

Okay, so as usual, Ringo doesn't look that different.  And that would be Tom behind me with a dog treat, thus the intense focus on the dog's part.

BEFORE.....

AFTER coming this evening!

The PERFECT Father's Day Gift!

Those that know me well know that I sometimes have a knack for giving the right gift (yes, I suppose this could be construed as an opportunity for you to gleefully point out a truly misguided gift that came your way).

Regardless, if at first you think the suggestion below is a little "off", I ask that you take a leap of faith with me and know, as I know, that this gift will not only be spectacularly received, but will be remembered for the rest of time.

Mens Zota Unique G803-10

Alluring square toe slip-on with charming detail and design. A must have for your dress collection this season.

It is IMPERATIVE, when you go to the link, that you scroll down and read the reviews.

LINK: Nothing But The Best For My Guys!

This is MY gift to all the men in my life that I love.

(and payback for all the rotten tricks my brothers played on me growing up)

A man and his lawn...

My husband Tom was very excited last year when he purchased a fancy new lawn sprinkler.  He had hoped this sprinkler would be better than the crappy sprinklers he has purchased in the past.  he had envisioned a season of rolling green lawns and looks of envy on the faces of neighbors.

Ray Padula RP-RDOS-1 Raindance Oscillating Sprinkler

Sadly, Tom's trust was misplaced, prompting him to write his first amazon review:

1.0 out of 5 stars

Piece of crap, May 2, 2013

By 

Thomas J. Norton "Woodwose" (Boston, MA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Ray Padula RP-RDOS-1 Raindance Oscillating Sprinkler (Lawn & Patio)

A cheap, shoddy waste of money. Move on from this one. It lasted less than one season before springing leaks everywhere. It's 'full' range is only about 1/4 what it should be. Junk.

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So THIS summer Tom was determined to get the mack-daddy of all sprinklers, so he plunked his hard earned money, and his heart, into a:

This is some serious shit

GAME ON!

MAJESTIC

BUSTA MOVE!



I can't wait to jump on the couch!



funny friend moment

I received a series of texts from a good friend and had to share them because I thought they were amusing.

Apparently she found herself a captive audience as she sat in a waiting room while her tire was being replaced.


"I am watching Family Feud.  It is beyond inane."
- - -
"One of the questions on FF is 'tell me another way people say vomit"
- - -
"'Blow chunks' just put the Parker Family in the lead"
- - -
"I'm losing my mind with this show.  Holy Shit.  How many idiots are there out there"
- - -
"I want to write a letter to the network"
- - -
"OMG"
- - -
The show has already dumbed me down because I just wrote OMG"

Glad to be of service

Tom and I have noticed over the years that our street, more specifically, the street in front of our house, is a hotbed for parallel parking practice.  It is quite common to look out and see a drivers-ed car practicing parallel parking behind our car parked on the street.  We don't see this happening on any other area of our street, even though there are other cars parked on it.  Not sure why, maybe they figure that we won't notice if they ding up Tom's car.



Okay, good, now turn the wheel 45 degrees to the right. . .



Concerned I would distract/embarrass the driver, I took this picture from our bedroom window upstairs.  This fellow actually did pretty well, but it's more fun to watch the ones that can't quite master the skill, even given the low pressure situation and the expansive space available.