Real Simple

That's the name of the magazine I'm reading.  I get the irony.  Truth be told, I love it when I see this magazine on my counter, fresh from the mailman.  And every single time I read it, I'm amazed that I read such drivel.

But then, I come across an article such as this one, and my faith is redeemed.

until. . . .the end of the article.

ARTICLE: "WHAT POLITE GESTURE NEVER FAILS TO IMPRESS YOU"

So I'm like. . . YAH! right up my alley, I'm about as polite and thoughtful as they get!  Let me read something that will make me feel better about myself.

Some examples of the printed submissions:

BRINGING FOOD TO SOMEONE EXPERIENCING A STRESSFUL LIFE SITUATION.
I do that, I even bring food to happy people,

OUR HOSTS WOULD ESCORT US TO OUR CARS
I do one better than that, I will stand, in the middle of the street and wave to exiting guests until they are out of sight.  My guests probably find this creepy.

IF SOMEONE INTRODUCES ME BY NAME AND INCLUDES A DETAIL ABOUT ME
I totally do that.  I have a friend that I consistently introduce in this manner:
This is my friend "Tabatha", she is a slut.
(it helps to note that the examples in the article were "she's a teacher", "she is a volunteer", etc.)

ASK FELLOW TRAVELERS IF THEY WANTED A PHOTO WITH COMPANIONS OR THE SCENERY.
again, I DO that.  Sometimes it's awkward for the "fellow travelers".

But here, HERE is what I alluded to earlier. . . .

the LAST entry was this, and I repeat it in its entirety:

Nowadays people talk so fast and forget to listen.  They feel the need to take advantage of every single pause.  I am soft-spoken and talk slowly at times, so I am impressed when others wait to make sure I've finished my thought or story before responding.  





 . . . . . . . . I"M DOOMED! 

A VISITOR

When Tom and I got home last night we noticed what appeared to be bird poop on our kitchen island.  Couldn't figure how that got there because there weren't any other signs that a bird had been in the house.  BUT, as we walked around we saw other little droppings, mostly near windows.  But no sign of a bird?  We checked to see if our cat got a hold of it - nope.

Tom thought I was imagining things when I heard a wisp of noise behind the couch - checked the area thoroughly, under/behind the couch, coffee table, desk, nothing.  Then I noticed an area in the corner by a bank of windows where there were more droppings and a feather. . . that is when Tom noticed this in that same corner:

Poor little Wren looked scared, wasn't moving an inch even though we were moving around opening windows and doors right near it.  Tom gave it a little nudge - it made a brief landing on our pendant lights in the kitchen - one more nudge and it was out the kitchen window!!

Happy Ending!

May I Introduce: THE Lord FOUNTAIN ASS

HIDDEN GARDEN!

Is it me?

I saw this product displayed in the store. . . I took a double take because I couldn't BELIEVE what I was seeing!!

I HAD to look closer!

OH.....it says ROPE Toy, that makes more sense.  But still, I would question the type style choice.