Glass Practically Empty

Tom and I met a young attorney last night – he was our closing attorney, and lucky for us, he makes house calls.  Really nice guy, mid 30’s, has a couple kids under the age of 3, a total Boston Irish Boy, including his inability to manage his liquor thus his decision to quit drinking 8 years ago.

Anyway, he told us a couple of funny little stories about how he a) doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut and b) tends to say the wrong thing when he does speak.  The stories probably won’t elicit a belly laugh, but I thought they were funny enough to share.  I suspect they sound better when delivered by Sean. 

Story #1:  He was having a conversation with a woman that he didn’t know that well, the woman was pregnant, so Sean went on and on about how terrible childbirth was, how she is in for a nightmare experience, etc.  The woman (and Sean’s wife), just looked at him like: “shut the F up?!”.  He then found himself in a conversation with ANOTHER pregnant woman, not too much later, and AGAIN, inexplicably, he went on about how horrible the experience will be for her, except THIS time he was able to identify to the woman and her husband that he had made this social gaffe before and was aware that it is completely inappropriate and unwelcome.  But even after announcing that, he CONTINUED to detail why they would never want to have children again.  He was amazed at his own inability to stop himself.

Storey #2:  He was talking to his neighbor, apparently her father had been battling mightily for some time with cancer, chemo, radiation, repeated hospitalizations, etc.  However, she was happy to report that he had BEATEN the cancer, was diagnosed cancer-free!  A cause for relief and celebration!  NOT if you are talking to Sean, Sean thought it was necessary to add to the conversation by stating “Well, you know, with cancer, it never really goes away, it always comes back……….”  Thank you Sean.

While recounting these stories, I am reminded of a recent conversation my friend (name rhymes with “Taffy”) had with a total stranger.  Taffy and I had decided to take an overnight trip up north, and while at the bar one evening, Taffy decided to step outside for some air.  While relaxing on a bench outside, she struck up a conversation with a gentleman that had a dog with him.  Taffy proceeded to ooh and aah over the dog, asking about the dog’s name, breed, etc.  Taffy also queried about the dogs age.  When she learned the dog was 11, she was a little surprised at the dogs advanced age, which led to her to follow up with “how long do those dogs live?”.  I can’t help but believe that there was a hint of incredulity in Taffy’s voice when she asked that question, but that has not been confirmed.  The owner of the dog noted that this is something he would rather not think about.

So there you have it, a few examples of people that REALLY know how to look on the bright side of things.