A man and his lawn...

My husband Tom was very excited last year when he purchased a fancy new lawn sprinkler.  He had hoped this sprinkler would be better than the crappy sprinklers he has purchased in the past.  he had envisioned a season of rolling green lawns and looks of envy on the faces of neighbors.

Ray Padula RP-RDOS-1 Raindance Oscillating Sprinkler

Sadly, Tom's trust was misplaced, prompting him to write his first amazon review:

1.0 out of 5 stars

Piece of crap, May 2, 2013

By 

Thomas J. Norton "Woodwose" (Boston, MA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Ray Padula RP-RDOS-1 Raindance Oscillating Sprinkler (Lawn & Patio)

A cheap, shoddy waste of money. Move on from this one. It lasted less than one season before springing leaks everywhere. It's 'full' range is only about 1/4 what it should be. Junk.

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So THIS summer Tom was determined to get the mack-daddy of all sprinklers, so he plunked his hard earned money, and his heart, into a:

This is some serious shit

GAME ON!

MAJESTIC

BUSTA MOVE!



I can't wait to jump on the couch!



funny friend moment

I received a series of texts from a good friend and had to share them because I thought they were amusing.

Apparently she found herself a captive audience as she sat in a waiting room while her tire was being replaced.


"I am watching Family Feud.  It is beyond inane."
- - -
"One of the questions on FF is 'tell me another way people say vomit"
- - -
"'Blow chunks' just put the Parker Family in the lead"
- - -
"I'm losing my mind with this show.  Holy Shit.  How many idiots are there out there"
- - -
"I want to write a letter to the network"
- - -
"OMG"
- - -
The show has already dumbed me down because I just wrote OMG"

Glad to be of service

Tom and I have noticed over the years that our street, more specifically, the street in front of our house, is a hotbed for parallel parking practice.  It is quite common to look out and see a drivers-ed car practicing parallel parking behind our car parked on the street.  We don't see this happening on any other area of our street, even though there are other cars parked on it.  Not sure why, maybe they figure that we won't notice if they ding up Tom's car.



Okay, good, now turn the wheel 45 degrees to the right. . .



Concerned I would distract/embarrass the driver, I took this picture from our bedroom window upstairs.  This fellow actually did pretty well, but it's more fun to watch the ones that can't quite master the skill, even given the low pressure situation and the expansive space available.

CHANGE IN PLANS!

This Sunday Tom and I were going to take Tom's folks out to lunch at a local favorite in honor of Mother's Day.

That was before I came across this irresistible offer:

Hooters offers free meal for moms on Mother's Day ... and bring the kids

Ah, Mother's Day. Breakfast in bed, flowers, a box of chocolates, perhaps, and Hooters.
Yes, you read that right: Hooters.
The chain that's popular for its hot pants and tank top clad waitresses is trying to lure families in for meals on Mother's Day by dangling a free entree of up to $10 for moms. The catch? You have to bring the kiddies too.



Specifically, the fine print says moms “must be accompanied by one or more of her offspring” and make a drink purchase in order to claim their free meal. (Hooters did not respond to a request for comment or clarify if the drink purchase includes soft drinks as well as alcoholic beverages.)

BAD dog!!

It isn't uncommon for Ringo to "clean" our coffee table for us (I know, G-R-O-S-S!-!-!), although it is HIGHLY discouraged.  When caught, he usually sheepishly tries to get down by attempting to awkwardly reverse his steps by walking backward onto the couch....not so much. This time however, he seems to think that if he totally Freezes-In-Place and avoids eye contact, that this "unfortunate incident" will go away.

COINCIDENCE?

You decide.

As many of you know, a couple weekends ago I went to NYC with a few girlfriends.  Where did we stay you ask?  At the Gramercy Park Hotel.  Where did we drink you ask?  At the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel....

At this point, you are probably wondering:  Is Ann the "mystery blonde" that Supermodel Naomi Campbells' ex was flirting with?  Has Ann caught the eye of the Russian billionaire Vladimir Doronin?

As a HAPPILY married woman who has grown accustomed to her humble life in Holliston, I feel it would be inappropriate to comments on such a scurrilous suggestion.