BANJO'S BOUDOIR PHOTO

 VEGAN

Jorge took Maeve to a fancy vegan restaurant for her birthday.  This was one of the courses they served:

I was relieved to see that - as a loyal meat eater I am intimidated with the concept of serving vegan meals.  Not anymore!

 I CAN'T WAIT TO TRAVEL WITH MAEVE

I was looking for a new piece of carry-on luggage, and after some internet searching I decided to just buy the same one I bought for Maeve a while back - she loved it and it was the result of extensive research on my part.  I was also looking for a duffel bag to use as my personal carry-on that would work with the suitcase.  Pretty pleased  . . . .

Maeve commented that she liked the combo - I told her I would be happy to buy her one as well.  Maeve nervously joked that it would be funny if we could also wear the same track suit.  

CONSIDER IT DONE!

we're gonna look so cool.

 OVERCOMPENSATING    

When you spend your husband's birthday travelling to Long Island to celebrate a friend's birthday - perhaps you buy the biggest birthday card you can find to make yourself feel better.

 WEEKEND PLANNING

 I was watching one of those murder mystery shows last night - Dateline, etal, and is so often the case, the now deceased person had warned someone in their life "if something ever happens to me, the police need to investigate X person. . ."

It occurred to me that if someone has slighted you in some way and you want to make their life unpleasant for a while, you could always put it out there, no matter how unfounded, that THEY are that X person.

 SOMETIMES, just sometimes . . . . .

I think Smudge is plotting my demise

 

Things I Should Be-Am-Am Not-Whatever Embarrassed By:

• I like bologna sandwiches on white bread with French’s yellow mustard
• I still haven’t figured out how to recycle properly
• I look down on people who use busses for transportation
• I like the songs Pina Colada and Mandy
• I barely (only if pressed) know how to work the TV remote
• I will watch the movie “Overboard” with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell every time it is on TV – which is a lot

I know there are many many more, but this is it for now.

 

I was watching our Governor Maura Healey’s State of the Commonwealth address the other night.  As you might expect, there were lots of applause throughout her address, some more vigorous than others.  As they always do, there was an interpreter doing sign language.  How is it that I have never noticed the sign language for applause? 

(click on image for video)

I am loving this on so many levels – and the intensity of the sign language changes based upon the intensity of the applause.  I am going to use this myself from now on whenever I, or someone else says or does something worthy of applause.

 

 I promised myself I would write on this blog every week.  I don't happen to have anything clever in mind so thought I would share this pic from yesterday morning - beautiful!

 MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN    

To wrap up the last of my New Year/Old Me posts, I have, below, the fruits of my labor from New Year's Day.  While Tom was removing every single remnant of Christmas from our home, I was cleaning out our pantry.  

Some people consider the image below "porn" thus the warning . . .

Extremely satisfying.

JAN 1

As I continue to usher in 2024 like a WINNA', Tom and I chose to have lunch here:

It's going to be a good year . . . .

 2024

Jan 1 

I saw an old colleague post the following on FB today:

Enter 2024…

"we all have an opportunity to rewind(for a moment), recall and reflect and THEN it’s all up for the taking!!! Remake, rethink, reload, redo, reuse, recycle, release, renew, recreate, reshape, reinvent, reform, reinvigorate, revise, relearn, respond, reimagine, rejoice and re-xxxxxxx.

Add your RE in the comments so we all can reunite in our dreams for 2024!"

In the interest of respecting the privacy of the initial poster and the responders i am not sharing a screenshot, but here is an example of some of the responses:

• Reinvent kindness, compassion and love. For all.
• Realize Global warming is real
• Going to reimagine, reload and release in 2024
• RE-store humanity & Love, kindness
• Reflect, renew and rejoice 

You get the drift . . . all had various New Year inspirational comments to go with their RE word.

COULD YOU IMAGINE IF . . . . .

I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking "could you imagine if I did X offensive thing", or "could you imagine if I made X inappropriate comment". And I just picture other people's head exploding with (rightful) indignity.

So it comes as a shock to no one that knows me that I had the idea of typing RETARD

I look forward to my final resting place in hell.

Real Simple

That's the name of the magazine I'm reading.  I get the irony.  Truth be told, I love it when I see this magazine on my counter, fresh from the mailman.  And every single time I read it, I'm amazed that I read such drivel.

But then, I come across an article such as this one, and my faith is redeemed.

until. . . .the end of the article.

ARTICLE: "WHAT POLITE GESTURE NEVER FAILS TO IMPRESS YOU"

So I'm like. . . YAH! right up my alley, I'm about as polite and thoughtful as they get!  Let me read something that will make me feel better about myself.

Some examples of the printed submissions:

BRINGING FOOD TO SOMEONE EXPERIENCING A STRESSFUL LIFE SITUATION.
I do that, I even bring food to happy people,

OUR HOSTS WOULD ESCORT US TO OUR CARS
I do one better than that, I will stand, in the middle of the street and wave to exiting guests until they are out of sight.  My guests probably find this creepy.

IF SOMEONE INTRODUCES ME BY NAME AND INCLUDES A DETAIL ABOUT ME
I totally do that.  I have a friend that I consistently introduce in this manner:
This is my friend "Tabatha", she is a slut.
(it helps to note that the examples in the article were "she's a teacher", "she is a volunteer", etc.)

ASK FELLOW TRAVELERS IF THEY WANTED A PHOTO WITH COMPANIONS OR THE SCENERY.
again, I DO that.  Sometimes it's awkward for the "fellow travelers".

But here, HERE is what I alluded to earlier. . . .

the LAST entry was this, and I repeat it in its entirety:

Nowadays people talk so fast and forget to listen.  They feel the need to take advantage of every single pause.  I am soft-spoken and talk slowly at times, so I am impressed when others wait to make sure I've finished my thought or story before responding.  





 . . . . . . . . I"M DOOMED! 

A VISITOR

When Tom and I got home last night we noticed what appeared to be bird poop on our kitchen island.  Couldn't figure how that got there because there weren't any other signs that a bird had been in the house.  BUT, as we walked around we saw other little droppings, mostly near windows.  But no sign of a bird?  We checked to see if our cat got a hold of it - nope.

Tom thought I was imagining things when I heard a wisp of noise behind the couch - checked the area thoroughly, under/behind the couch, coffee table, desk, nothing.  Then I noticed an area in the corner by a bank of windows where there were more droppings and a feather. . . that is when Tom noticed this in that same corner:

Poor little Wren looked scared, wasn't moving an inch even though we were moving around opening windows and doors right near it.  Tom gave it a little nudge - it made a brief landing on our pendant lights in the kitchen - one more nudge and it was out the kitchen window!!

Happy Ending!

May I Introduce: THE Lord FOUNTAIN ASS

HIDDEN GARDEN!

Is it me?

I saw this product displayed in the store. . . I took a double take because I couldn't BELIEVE what I was seeing!!

I HAD to look closer!

OH.....it says ROPE Toy, that makes more sense.  But still, I would question the type style choice.

A Different Take on the Red Sox World Series Win

Fuck Boston

Last night, for the first time in 95 years, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series at home in Fenway Park. Fuck the city of Boston, in general.

Boston is not a good city.

Fuck the Boston Red Sox. Fuck your dirty beards. Fuck your scrappy-band-of-sailors persona. Fuck your iconic little ballpark. Fuck the big green wall in your outfield. Fuck the people wearing Red Sox hats, particularly pink ones. Fuck your undeserved underdog attitude. Fuck your celebrity fans. Fuck your regular fans. Fuck your riotous celebrations.

Fuck all of New England. But in particular, Boston.

Fuck your reputation as a center of learning. Fuck your colleges and universities. Fuck your swarms of students. Fuck the hyper-intellectuals, the frat boys, and everyone in between. Fuck MIT. You could have gone to Caltech, where it's sunny. You fools. Fuck Harvard. Fuck your cozy book stores. Fuck Cambridge. Fuck the bridge you have to cross to get there. Fuck rowing in the Charles. Fuck that as a pastime. Get a better pastime, jerks.

Fuck Boston (the band).

Fuck your regional food specialties. Fuck your tendency to claim all of Irish immigrant culture as your own. Fuck movies set in your small regional city. Fuck your accent. Fuck the Puritans. Fuck Samuel Adams. Fuck Paul Revere. Fuck the entirety of your celebrated colonial history.

That was a long time ago. Get over it.

Fuck the Big Dig. Dig it, already. I'm so sick of hearing about your stupid hole. Fuck your talk radio stations. Fuck Tom Brady. Fuck your bleak and desolate winters. Fuck the poor bastards in all of the surrounding states who are forced to rely on you as the only real urban center in close proximity. I feel for them. Fuck your museums. Fuck your bus station. Fuck your aquarium. I can't believe you imprison fish in such an awful town. Fuck your floating "Duck Tour" vehicles. What's wrong with driving on the road? Why do you have to drive in the water? Why are you always making things complicated?

Fuck Cheers.

I have some dear, dear friends from Boston. Great people. I love them. I would not want them to read this and get the wrong idea. It's important to me that I take a moment to make this point to them: Fuck Boston.

It's too cold there. Who needs it?

Boston people get mad when you say these things. If I said this in Boston, I would probably get my head beat in. Fuck your violent tendencies. That's mean. I'm a person too. Fuck your denial of my humanity. Other people in Boston try to over-intellectualize it. "You're not even giving any real reasons," they whine. "You're just saying 'fuck' things. You don't even make sense." Jesus, the whining. Always the whining and arguing, from Boston people. Can we have one conversation that doesn't have to be all about you? Fuck your self-centered inability to admit that your enemies are correct. Try seeing it from the perspective of the rest of the world, for once. Put yourself in our shoes. Now think about Boston. Come on. Seriously. Come on. Really. Come on. Boston. Really now. Boston?

Come on. Boston?

No.

CREDIT:  Gawker.com