It's good to have a back-up plan

See Ya Suckers!!!!

I got this little gem in my inbox today:

Apparently, all I need to do is confirm receipt of the email and I am good to go.  ONE point FIVE MILLION DOLLARS!

I'm going to go tell my boss to F-OFF right now! 

Who WOULDN'T Want This Job??!!

I came across this job that was posted on Monster last year:

Looking for an experienced personal assistant who is a jack of all trades, loves to work with children and has mechanical, construction, landscaping, driving, housekeeping and child care qualifications.  Working knowledge of diesel engines a must. Responsibilities include servicing diesel MTU boat engine, first mate boat responsibilities (docking, cleaning, navigation, upkeep and maintenance), house and yard maintenance, child care for a young children, housekeeping (laundry, cooking, cleaning, ironing), driving and other chores. Flexibility and understanding and conversant in English a must.  CPR training preferred.  Must be willing to spend extended time living on boat at sea and from time to time at our house to help with children. Overnights, weekends and evening work will be standard and therefore flexible hours a must. Starting pay $8.25 per hour.

(SLIGHTLY better pay than McDonald's)

Low Maintenance?

I don't THINK so!

I got this freebie garden mini-mag/coupon-provider in the mail today - I appear to be on some sort of 'Bernie Madoff' gardening ponzi scheme list.   

My instant reaction?  Thank You No.  

Gimme a: 

• "This Garden Will Kick-your-Ass" column ?  I'm there!  
• "Why Are All Your New Expensive Shrubs Dead"?  Count me in!  
• "You married for 'better or worse', but really, look at that lawn"?  You're singing  my tune

Low Maintenance??!!!  

Not my gig. 

Yes, as a matter of fact, I was born in a barn

Tom is very security conscience; he likes to have all our doors and windows locked up.  I'm a Jackman, I don't lock my doors.

So, I was the last one to leave the house Monday morning, a little distracted, a few out of the norm commuting events happening.

I was the first one home.   This is what it looked like as I approached the porch door:

Look how nice and welcoming :-)

That's right - C'mon in!!  :-)

Need a Car?!  Help Yourself!!!

now I'M angry!

I'm ashamed to admit I have been somewhat apathetic about the violent protests cropping up across the globe in response to an anti Islamic video created by some loser in CA.  Don't get me wrong, I was shocked and saddened to hear about the death of a U.S. Diplomat and 3 others following an attack on the U.S. Embassy in Libya.  By all accounts the Diplomat was dedicated to improving the lives of the people of Libya.  But, like a typical American, it's not until an event hits home that I start to pay attention.

Well, I'm paying attention NOW!





When I saw this image on MSNBC showing protesters defacing a Hardees and KFC in Tripolo, well, I knew I could no longer sit back and pretend this wasn't about me.  I am ALL fired up now!  I haven't formulated a plan yet - Tom and I have dinner reservations tonight, and then tomorrow Cathy, Sue and I are going to Cathy's cousins house for the day/night (3 million dollar pad, right on the beach, weather is supposed to be fantastic), and Sunday, well, Sunday is my time to relax.  But when I get to work on Monday, if I'm not too busy at the office, well....well...lets just say I'll probably have a plan by then!



WTF??

I just heard on the "news" last night that Kim Kardashian has over 16 MILLION followers on  Twitter!
 

When I look at the stats for MY blog it looks like I only have 4 followers?

I repeat, WTF??

I've pored over thousands of Kim's tweets from last week, reviewed my own 13 or so blog postings over the last 18 months....hoping to glean some insight as to how I might expand my audience beyond my 4 rabidly loyal followers.

Nothing.  I come up with nothing.

So, you know what?  I took a random sampling of both our "styles" and laid them out below.  If you see anything, anything at all. . . .

Kim's September 2012 Tweet

Ann's September 2012 blog entry

 

 

 

Kims June 2012 Tweet

Ann's June 2012 blog entry

 

 

 

Kim's February 2012 Tweet

Ann's January 2012 blog entry





BUSTAMOVE!





One for you, two for me

I was doing a little early xmas shopping while out and about on a road trip. Saw this in a store and thought that my daughter MAEVE would really love it!!

And I still think she would.

BUT, it turns out, it ALSO looks really good in MY house!

Sorry Maeve!

BOLOGNA

No, really.......BOLOGNA.

YUMMY!

It's true, I love a bologna sandwich, white bread, French's mustard....I'm all set.

But to share my culinary delight with others, it's as if you just shared:  "I'm fond of kicking toddlers".  People are disgusted (rightfully so with the toddler thing), and I GET IT....I mean, I know that Bologna is kinda dicey in the "ingredients" department.  An interesting line from Wikipedia on Bologna:   'U.S. government regulations require American bologna to be finely ground,^[2] and without visible pieces of lard.'

OK, so while I have become used to the blatant discrimination leveled upon bologna sympathizers, (and I am an ex-smoker, so I KNOW what I am talking about), I have to bring to task a certain friend who is unabashedly a bologna hater.....let's just call her FLOSSIE for the sake of this story.

FLOSSIE and I were together in the car on a recent weekend road-trip, catching up, sharing stories and insights into what is happening in our lives...mostly we laughed, sometimes we cried.  It was during one of these moments that I shared with FLOSSIE that I had recently had the opportunity to have a bologna sandwich as a sort of "brunch" item at work; that is, it was eaten after 10, but before noon.  I thought I could share this with FLOSSIE, I felt "safe" in that car at that moment.  FLOSSIE recoiled in disgust.  I paraphrase, but she said something to the tune of:  "OOH THAT'S GROSS, THAT'S DISGUSTING"", and then she sort of shivered.

It was THEN that I had the flash back to all those many years ago.  

THIS is a TRUE STORY.  Circa 1990...

FLOSSIE and I along with 2 other girlfriends, all recent college graduates, were living in a 4 bedroom apartment in Brighton MA.   It was the first apartment FLOSSIE and I shared,  and for the most part, the first time we had all lived outside the dorm life. Which means it was the first time we had shared kitchens.  It was there that FLOSSIE and I learned of our divergent thoughts regarding bologna.  

Things came to a head one night.  

I was MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, assembling a bologna sandwich in the kitchen, when that BUSY BODY FLOSSIE came into the kitchen and proclaimed AGAIN how vile the bologna product is.  At my breaking point, I CHASED FLOSSIE with a piece of bologna as my weapon/protector around tiny circles .....kitchen, dining, living, kitchen, dining, living, etc.....until it came to a head when she became cornered in the kitchen.  It was THEN that I tossed said bologna into her general direction....as if on gossamer wings, the Bologna floated across the room and landed MAGICALLY between the eyeball of FLOSSIE and her eyeglass lens.  Almost as if she were a BOLOGNA PIRATE with a BOLOGNA PATCH.

It was a wonder to behold...and that really is a true story.